Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Gee..
I haven't blogged in over a month!!
Well i'll try to update as much as possible ya..
It's been hectic with university applications. One particular university actually.
University of Sydney!!
I actually have 2 options. To do it locally or un Sydney full time. I applied for both.
I'm actually prepared to leave for sydney.. Its a huge change.. but its a change i want..
Best of all i get to go with my best friend!!
Right now, its just about waiting for the uni's response. Which stupidly taked 4-6 weeks!! Sigh.. anyway i book temporary accomodation just in case..
Me? im still single.. but.. somehow that man has snuck himself into my life again..
Maybe im weak. Maybe its fate. I dunno..
But i have to say my last entry was written in a fit of anger.. Right now i guess he knows that he has alot to do if he still wants me..
If he really wants to marry me and and have a family and future with me, he's got so much to prove...
Then and only then would i take him back.
In the mean time im just trying to focus on work and my degree plans.
So tomorrow im headin to the beach with birthday girl suraidah, then we're headed to st james!!
Partaaaay!!!
Weee..
hahaha.. riight..
It occured to me that leaving would mean leaving everything i ever became fond of.. Everyone..
I know that's going to be the toughest thing i've ever had to do.. but then i am tryin to welcome the change with an open mind..
It's going to eb good to be on my own two feet for awhile.. Study, work, put a roof over my own head and feed myself.. I think it's really going to make me grow even more as a person..
But it still is going to be hard to be away from home for a year..
I just hope i can prepare myself for it.
I choose not to think about it till i have my acceptance letter in my hand..
Well i better pack.. its gettin late..
I'll TRY to rememebr to update ok..
Starred at |9:06 AM|
+~+
Thursday, August 30, 2007
SIGH...
Lets see.. I'm sighing for a number of things.. Firstly, i cant believe i finally have some time to blog. Secondly, so so so much has happened lately that i dont know where to start. Thirdly and lastly, I'm so so happy.
Well lets just say, that finally, for once in my life, i found a guy that i actually want. A guy that fits the bill in more ways that i could ever imagine. A guy im proud to have by my side, who compliments me and who i am proud to love.
Now i have to admit, the way we got to where we are is a little dramatic and unfortunate..
Here's a short version:
He was previously dating my best friend.
We started talking when she tried to end things with him, he was just looking to figure out from me whats going on with her.
We fell in love.
We all know that life is waaay more complicated than that. But i dont think that details are necessary.
I just hope that by now, my bestie has realised that i never meant to hurt her and that i am really sorry for everything that happened and also accepts that me and him are a couple and will be for a long long time... Babe, I've said all i could say to you. I just hope you come round soon.
Right now, i just am cherishing every moment we spend together. So this is what its like to really be in an adult relationship. This is what its like to love and be loved unconditionally. I have to admit, i thought it was all overrated, but now i see why all the fuss. It is pretty much the greatest feeling in the world. To actually have someone you can depend on there and to have someone love you with all his heart. Its amazing. After all the shit ive been through with regards to life in general and especially pertaining to matters of the heart, the only word on my mind is.. FINALLY.
I'm going to sound like one of those really annoying love sick puppies but i say fuck it.
He is smart.. he doesnt even realise how smart he is.
He is cute... And i'm not saying that because im his girlfriend.
He is mature... LIKE OMG I CANT BELIEVE HE IS ONLY 21 KINDA MATURE.
He has a great personality.... :)
We can talk about ANYTHING.
We both want similar things in life.
We both expect similar things from our partners.
He will be a great father.
ok and the list goes on...
All i know is, i'm finding it hard not to just let all my guard down. Especially when he is letting down his. But i know that its absolutly stupid if i do. Its a self preservation thing i guess.. Sigh..
Well all i can do now is to work as hard as he is to make this last... So far so good.. Its all i could ever imagine a relationship would be. We compromise and work things out and we share the good and the bad moments... :)
Im crossing my fingers and crossing my toes.
I really really hope...
He's the one.
:)
Starred at |6:52 AM|
+~+
Saturday, June 30, 2007
James Morrison -The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore
I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line
and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in,
closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading
and watching it all fall apart.
Chorus
Well I can't explain
why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now,
oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore,
Pieces dont fit here anymore.
You pulled me under,
I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
Thats breaking my skin.
Well i'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage thats done.
But I show how Im feeling
until all the feeling has gone.
(Chorus)
Ooh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried,
yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why,
no I dont know why.
III dont know why......
(Chorus)
Well I can't explain
why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now,
oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore,
Pieces dont fit here anymore.
Starred at |1:21 PM|
+~+
you know.. its 4am.. and i cant seem to sleep..
what happen to u? where did u go.. i miss u....
sigh.. work starts in 1 day... i just hope i can make it.. i just hope.. i will be a good nurse.. its scary.. whole new place.. ive never worked in ttsh b4.. i just hope i can do this..
Just got off the phone with my bestie...
bebe.
I know its a tough time.. things seem ever so confusing.. i know that.. but i just want u to always rememer..
" You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When Skies are grey
You Never know dear,
How much i love u
Please don't take my sunshine away"
And as it has been throughout all these years.. Im ur sunshine too.. always there for u on ur darkest days..:D
Whole new game.. New players.. New goals..New Oppurtunities..
New life
Not new me.. just hopefully.. a better me at the other side..
Drinks anyone?
Starred at |1:12 PM|
+~+
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
WEEEE!! i FINISH poly!!! and i got DISTINCTION for attachments! weeeeeeeeeeee!!! I graduated!! Im a staff Nurse! TTSH here i come!!! ~~~~~
Starred at |7:41 AM|
+~+
"Leaving On A Jet Plane"
I'm ... I'm ...
All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
I'm ...
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say ...
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Starred at |7:39 AM|
+~+
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
"Lets go to the park.. i wanna kiss you underneath the stars"
And so.. i did... but no park tho.. haha
He tears me apart.. figures me out... takes away the bad..then puts me back together more whole than i ever was..
If that's not love.. i dont know what is..
i love you.
Starred at |3:07 PM|
+~+
Monday, March 19, 2007
i call it love- Lional richie
Look At You
You Look At Me
(You Can't Help It You're Feeling Butterflies)
Its obvious,
We have Chemistry
(I think I know it cuz it feels so right)
Girl I wanted so long to know
Now Your telling me you gotta let it go
(Dont Tell Me I have to start all over again)
I Never thought that this day would come
(This is somthing that i've wanted in my life)
I relize that you're the one
(and you're telling me its time to say goodbye)
To Put this out of my heart It ain't gonna change
So it shouldn't be so easy to walk away
(You feel it I feel it lets not be tense)
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
It's so clear for you to see
(dont let anybody tell you what to do)
Why they can't they just let us be happy
(i dont want to find somebody new)
If you know whats real in your heart
Then dont let them tear us apart
(Cuz you feel it I feel it Lets think this through)
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
(Break)
We Have a bond thats unbreakable
And its not time to let it go
And now that we know its real
We are going to let it show
To the whole world
That I'm yours forever
and you're my girl
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
(Repeat 2)
Love
They Call It Love
I Call it
Love
Starred at |6:38 AM|
+~+
Friday, March 16, 2007
why do i feel like i've been replaced...
wow i've never made u feel like ur no longer important to me..
right now.. you've made me feel damn insignificant...
Starred at |8:28 AM|
+~+
i cant help but feel... lost and empty...
maybe some people are born to be alone...
i hate studying.. and i dont think i can do well..
all i wana do right now.. is have a drink and party...
Starred at |8:18 AM|
+~+
Gee..
I haven't blogged in over a month!!
Well i'll try to update as much as possible ya..
It's been hectic with university applications. One particular university actually.
University of Sydney!!
I actually have 2 options. To do it locally or un Sydney full time. I applied for both.
I'm actually prepared to leave for sydney.. Its a huge change.. but its a change i want..
Best of all i get to go with my best friend!!
Right now, its just about waiting for the uni's response. Which stupidly taked 4-6 weeks!! Sigh.. anyway i book temporary accomodation just in case..
Me? im still single.. but.. somehow that man has snuck himself into my life again..
Maybe im weak. Maybe its fate. I dunno..
But i have to say my last entry was written in a fit of anger.. Right now i guess he knows that he has alot to do if he still wants me..
If he really wants to marry me and and have a family and future with me, he's got so much to prove...
Then and only then would i take him back.
In the mean time im just trying to focus on work and my degree plans.
So tomorrow im headin to the beach with birthday girl suraidah, then we're headed to st james!!
Partaaaay!!!
Weee..
hahaha.. riight..
It occured to me that leaving would mean leaving everything i ever became fond of.. Everyone..
I know that's going to be the toughest thing i've ever had to do.. but then i am tryin to welcome the change with an open mind..
It's going to eb good to be on my own two feet for awhile.. Study, work, put a roof over my own head and feed myself.. I think it's really going to make me grow even more as a person..
But it still is going to be hard to be away from home for a year..
I just hope i can prepare myself for it.
I choose not to think about it till i have my acceptance letter in my hand..
Well i better pack.. its gettin late..
I'll TRY to rememebr to update ok..
Starred at |9:06 AM|
Thursday, August 30, 2007
SIGH...
Lets see.. I'm sighing for a number of things.. Firstly, i cant believe i finally have some time to blog. Secondly, so so so much has happened lately that i dont know where to start. Thirdly and lastly, I'm so so happy.
Well lets just say, that finally, for once in my life, i found a guy that i actually want. A guy that fits the bill in more ways that i could ever imagine. A guy im proud to have by my side, who compliments me and who i am proud to love.
Now i have to admit, the way we got to where we are is a little dramatic and unfortunate..
Here's a short version:
He was previously dating my best friend.
We started talking when she tried to end things with him, he was just looking to figure out from me whats going on with her.
We fell in love.
We all know that life is waaay more complicated than that. But i dont think that details are necessary.
I just hope that by now, my bestie has realised that i never meant to hurt her and that i am really sorry for everything that happened and also accepts that me and him are a couple and will be for a long long time... Babe, I've said all i could say to you. I just hope you come round soon.
Right now, i just am cherishing every moment we spend together. So this is what its like to really be in an adult relationship. This is what its like to love and be loved unconditionally. I have to admit, i thought it was all overrated, but now i see why all the fuss. It is pretty much the greatest feeling in the world. To actually have someone you can depend on there and to have someone love you with all his heart. Its amazing. After all the shit ive been through with regards to life in general and especially pertaining to matters of the heart, the only word on my mind is.. FINALLY.
I'm going to sound like one of those really annoying love sick puppies but i say fuck it.
He is smart.. he doesnt even realise how smart he is.
He is cute... And i'm not saying that because im his girlfriend.
He is mature... LIKE OMG I CANT BELIEVE HE IS ONLY 21 KINDA MATURE.
He has a great personality.... :)
We can talk about ANYTHING.
We both want similar things in life.
We both expect similar things from our partners.
He will be a great father.
ok and the list goes on...
All i know is, i'm finding it hard not to just let all my guard down. Especially when he is letting down his. But i know that its absolutly stupid if i do. Its a self preservation thing i guess.. Sigh..
Well all i can do now is to work as hard as he is to make this last... So far so good.. Its all i could ever imagine a relationship would be. We compromise and work things out and we share the good and the bad moments... :)
Im crossing my fingers and crossing my toes.
I really really hope...
He's the one.
:)
Starred at |6:52 AM|
Saturday, June 30, 2007
James Morrison -The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore
I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line
and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in,
closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading
and watching it all fall apart.
Chorus
Well I can't explain
why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now,
oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore,
Pieces dont fit here anymore.
You pulled me under,
I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
Thats breaking my skin.
Well i'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage thats done.
But I show how Im feeling
until all the feeling has gone.
(Chorus)
Ooh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried,
yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why,
no I dont know why.
III dont know why......
(Chorus)
Well I can't explain
why it's not enough,
Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now,
oh just leave me now.
Its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender,
Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces dont fit anymore,
Pieces dont fit here anymore.
Starred at |1:21 PM|
you know.. its 4am.. and i cant seem to sleep..
what happen to u? where did u go.. i miss u....
sigh.. work starts in 1 day... i just hope i can make it.. i just hope.. i will be a good nurse.. its scary.. whole new place.. ive never worked in ttsh b4.. i just hope i can do this..
Just got off the phone with my bestie...
bebe.
I know its a tough time.. things seem ever so confusing.. i know that.. but i just want u to always rememer..
" You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When Skies are grey
You Never know dear,
How much i love u
Please don't take my sunshine away"
And as it has been throughout all these years.. Im ur sunshine too.. always there for u on ur darkest days..:D
Whole new game.. New players.. New goals..New Oppurtunities..
New life
Not new me.. just hopefully.. a better me at the other side..
Drinks anyone?
Starred at |1:12 PM|
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
WEEEE!! i FINISH poly!!! and i got DISTINCTION for attachments! weeeeeeeeeeee!!! I graduated!! Im a staff Nurse! TTSH here i come!!! ~~~~~
Starred at |7:41 AM|
"Leaving On A Jet Plane"
I'm ... I'm ...
All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
I'm ...
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say ...
Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Starred at |7:39 AM|
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
"Lets go to the park.. i wanna kiss you underneath the stars"
And so.. i did... but no park tho.. haha
He tears me apart.. figures me out... takes away the bad..then puts me back together more whole than i ever was..
If that's not love.. i dont know what is..
i love you.
Starred at |3:07 PM|
Monday, March 19, 2007
i call it love- Lional richie
Look At You
You Look At Me
(You Can't Help It You're Feeling Butterflies)
Its obvious,
We have Chemistry
(I think I know it cuz it feels so right)
Girl I wanted so long to know
Now Your telling me you gotta let it go
(Dont Tell Me I have to start all over again)
I Never thought that this day would come
(This is somthing that i've wanted in my life)
I relize that you're the one
(and you're telling me its time to say goodbye)
To Put this out of my heart It ain't gonna change
So it shouldn't be so easy to walk away
(You feel it I feel it lets not be tense)
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
It's so clear for you to see
(dont let anybody tell you what to do)
Why they can't they just let us be happy
(i dont want to find somebody new)
If you know whats real in your heart
Then dont let them tear us apart
(Cuz you feel it I feel it Lets think this through)
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
(Break)
We Have a bond thats unbreakable
And its not time to let it go
And now that we know its real
We are going to let it show
To the whole world
That I'm yours forever
and you're my girl
(Chorus)
Baby, I Don't Know What Love Is
Maybe I'm A Fool
I Just Know What I'm Feeling
And It's All Because Of You
Don't Tell Me
I Don't Know
I Want The Truth
Cuz They Call It
We Call It
You Call It
I Call It Love
(Repeat 2)
Love
They Call It Love
I Call it
Love
Starred at |6:38 AM|
Friday, March 16, 2007
why do i feel like i've been replaced...
wow i've never made u feel like ur no longer important to me..
right now.. you've made me feel damn insignificant...
Starred at |8:28 AM|
i cant help but feel... lost and empty...
maybe some people are born to be alone...
i hate studying.. and i dont think i can do well..
all i wana do right now.. is have a drink and party...
Starred at |8:18 AM|